With Abandon

This is probably the happiest poem that I've ever written, and since I'm feeling so happy, I thought I would share it:-)

With Abandon

I want to drift
through lavender fields.
The petals so soft
like the fingers of children,
laying hands on my face.
Bringing their kisses.
The sun bursting lips.
The warm blush of roses.

I want to twirl
and spin in the rain
The pelting of tears,
the pin pricks of pain.
Barefoot laughter.
Dancing in time,
to the dripping rhythm
and rhyme.

I want to sing.
Pounding keys,
plucking strings.
A melody rising,
resounding within.
Staccato, fortissimo.
The march of my heart.
Beating wild.
Abandoned.
Alive.

Angela Minard 2010©

Good Things

Life feels so amazing and beautiful today, as if everything is filled with a golden light. The colors I see seem brighter, my heart flutters like a butterly’s wings, and the world spins around in a whirl of dizzying emotions. I’m a child turning in circles, and then falling down to the ground, the clouds flying above me.

Good Things Of The Day~

• I went to my youngest son, Roman’s basketball game, and his team won. He played awesome, and I’m proud of him. Watching him out there makes me nervous though. I sit on the edge of my seat, with my hands sweating :-)
  
• I have laughed so much with my boys. (I have four) They bring me so much joy.(most of the time)
• I talked with my mom on the phone this morning. It was nice to talk to her, and update her on all of the boys antics and activities. I also talk to her about my worries and concerns. It feels good to have someone besides my husband who listens and cares. I love you, Mom!
  
• I don’t hate my body today. I actually feel comfortable in my own skin, which is a rare thing for me.

I’m wishing everyone a Happy Easter, and I will leave you with a beautiful Easter quote~

“ Easter is a time to take a new look at ourselves and contemplate the divinity in us, the depths of our own innate God-potential. It is a time to reappraise the principle that makes all overcoming possible.”~ Eric Butterworth

Hallelujah, Saturday!

It has felt like a very long week, and I feel grateful and relieved that I have persevered, and made it through. Hallelujah, Saturday! I started out the week in a serious funk, but with each day that has passed, my mood and outlook on life has been improving, and at the moment, I feel really good. Mostly, it is only because I made it through, but hey...I'll take it!

I have no real plans for this weekend besides errands and chores around the house, but the sun is shining after a cold and rainy week here, I have energy to spare, and smiling seems like such a simple thing. It has been only a few days since I thought that I had forgotten how, so I'm not going to take it for granted.

Health And Happiness

Today was the first time that I have stepped outside of my house since last Wednesday. Partly because I haven't been feeling well, and partly because everything feels like such a huge effort. I went to work today, and it was good to be back, but I'm really exhausted. The results of the gastric emptying study came back, and I was diagnosed with gastroparesis, which is abnormally slow emptying of the stomach, most likely due to my anorexia. The small intestine sort of forgets how to move food through the digestive tract. I was prescribed a drug called Reglan which stimulates stomach muscle contractions to help emptying. Hopefully this will help me feel better, and get my digestive system working more normally. I would just like to have some energy instead of this lethargic feeling of uselessness. Last night I felt panicked at the idea of having to leave the house this morning, but once I pushed myself out the door, everything was fine. I'm not sure what is causing all of this anxiety and fear, but I do know that I'm tired of it, and it is wearing me down. Maybe once I actually have my health back, I will begin to feel more hopeful. I think the reason that I'm feeling so discouraged is because I've been trying so hard to eat healthy, and follow my meal plan, and all that I'm feeling is worse. It is hard for me not to feel as if food is the enemy. I know that I just have to be patient and give my body more time. I abused my body for many years, so I know that it is going to take time to heal. I've come this far, and I never want to go through this again, and that is what I'm counting on to keep me going.

Fun Times At Work

Work has been great this week, and I have really enjoyed the kids even more than usual. They just make me smile and laugh every day! We had a really great time at Job Olympics, and the kids did great work. I was so proud of all of them.

~Here are some of my fun kid stories from this week~

I was making homemade silly putty with a student, and I couldn't remember the recipe, so I asked one of the paras in the classroom. She told me that it was 1 part glue to 1 part liquid starch, so we tried that, but it didn't work, so I looked it up on the internet. It was 2 parts glue to 1 part liquid starch. When the para came back into the classroom, I was teasing her for giving me the wrong recipe. The student looked right at her and said, "You idiot!" Too funny.

I brought in a small pop up tent for one of our students who likes to have some quiet time to herself. She is also quite tiny and much smaller than any of our other students, but that didn't keep one of the largest of our boys out of it!


I just love my job!

A Simple Thing

A Simple Thing

The sun shines
Warms the earth
Such a simple thing
to smile inside
Warms the heart
with gratitude
for spring's arrival
Such a simple thing

Angela Minard 2008