Without Her

I haven't eaten today because I feel like such
a fat, disgusting pig. The voice of Claudia calls.
She wants to be clean. She wants to feel safe.
She is angry, insistant, and so loud. I ignore her.
I think that I feel much worse without her.
I am afraid to be without her for very long.
I hate who I am when I am without her.
I hate her.