Wednesday, March 5, 2008

What Is Your Life's Purpose?


I woke up this morning feeling angry, although I'm not really sure why. Maybe as I type, I will figure it out. Yesterday I came home from work and watched Oprah's webcast class with Eckhart Tolle, who wrote the book A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose. A friend of mine is giving me the book this morning, and I'm really excited to start reading it. Who doesn't want to know what their life's purpose is? It sounds like the perfect book for me to be reading right now. I think that is what my therapist was getting at when she asked me to think of living my life without an eating disorder, but I just don't know how to do that quite yet. Right now, that is like asking me to imagine living my life as a blind woman. I'm still getting used to the idea, and feeling it out, but still afraid to let go of it completely.
Last night Dave was mad at me because I didn't sit down to dinner and eat with the family. He has every right to be upset with me, but for some reason, I just couldn't do it last night. I think that it is because yesterday I had a flashback while I was at work, and it made me feel really out of control. I just felt this strong desire last night to hold on to what I could control. Maybe that is where the anger is coming from this morning. Flashbacks stress me out and make me angry. I feel like I need to release all of this pent up aggression without taking it out on myself or family.
Well, I'm off to get ready for work. I have therapy this evening, so there will be much to talk about. I'm sure that I will have more thoughts to share later;)

A New Earth book cover


Lucas Yarnell said...

you are a pink fairy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Anonymous said...

Help yourself become who you are. Free yourself from the chains holding you back so you can embrace the life you deserve yet have denied yourself. We love you and you deserve to love yourself.