Last night we went to Roman's end of season baseball party. It was at a neighborhood pool, and it was so hot and miserable. On top of that, I started to have a flashback, and began to panic because the last thing I want to do is look like a freak in front of a group of acquaintances. I told Dave, and we were able to get out of there soon after. At least I know what triggered it, but those triggers are just not always able to be avoided. I am getting much better at being able to pull myself back to the present, and Dave is great about recognizing when I'm slipping away.
This evening, my friends Angie and Ben are coming over for dinner. I'm really looking forward to seeing them and showing them the improvements that my mom and I have made to the house. I also plan on having a talk with Angie about how worried I am about her. She has been smoking since she was twelve years old, and she has been fighting a horrible cough for months, but refuses to see a doctor about it. I don't even want to think about losing her. We have been best friends since seventh grade, so I intend to dole out a big lecture and let her know how afraid I am, and how much she means to me. Hopefully I can guilt her into a doctors appointment!
I need to go to the store, and get the house ready for company, so that should keep me busy today. Hope everyone has a wonderful Saturday:)
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2 Comments:
A flashback suggests an unexpected recurrence or memory. You speak of your abuse almost every day in your blog and you reference it in quite a bit of detail. How can you have "flashbacks" when these events are what is driving your blog every day in your attempt to heal and recover? Are you dealing with the real issues? Wishing you strength in finding your way through what must be total chaos and confusion.
Sorry to hear about Angie...Scott does the same thing. I hope you have better luck with her!!! (although scott is trying to quit)
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