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Monday, April 12, 2010

Searching

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“Sometimes people leave you, half way through the woods. Others may deceive you, you decide what’s right, you decide what’s good. You decide alone, but no one is alone.”~ Into The Woods

From the moment I woke up this morning, the tears have been just below the surface, stinging my eyes. I dreamt of dolls, clutching them in my sleep, afraid to let them go. I want someone to hold me, afraid to let me go. I want them to please keep the nightmares away. I feel alone, but I have built this fortress around my heart, keeping the gate safely closed and locked. The door is slowly creaking open, my emotions seeping through the crack. I fear that because I was ready to take a risk, you have changed your mind about me. You now see me differently.

4 Comments:

Paula said...

Huga to you. I often feel the same and I had to elarn that mostly there is only one persone who sees me differently - myself. The fear creepign up and weakening my determination, my view about myself. The person may or may not see you differently. BTW I sleep with my teddybear and I think that is absolutely ok. it is a lot of comfort and I wont deny me that. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Now more important then ever. Love, Paula

Ann said...

Hang in there Angela, better days are ahead of you.

Ferd said...

Yeah, the emotions are really crazy at this stage of the game.
Part of the leap of faith you are taking is believing that all this work will pay off in the end. That you will be more comfortable in your own skin, at peace, safe, and happier. Keep working at it, and you'll get there, one step at a time.

Ruth said...

(((((HUGS)))))