Scream

Scream

Outside my window

the white sky is marbled 

with veins of charcoal

A winter sky in April

From far away

whispered thoughts

drift over the stillness of my body

Startled by the sound of my name being called

I listen intently

holding my breath

until I finally realize it is my own voice calling

Clamping my mouth tightly closed

I breathe purposefully through my nose

in 2,3,4

out 2,3,4,5

until the urge to scream disappears

Droplets of rain occasionally tap the window

as the lyrics to a song by The Clash plays in my head

on repeat...

"Should I stay or should I go
Should I stay or should I go now?"

The rhythm is more upbeat than I feel

I feel 

nothing

but still the question

without a clear answer

So I wait...

continuing to breathe

in 2,3,4,5

out, 2,3,4,5,6,7

I reach for my phone

find your number

wait for the sound

Of your voice 

and eventually 

I scream...

Angela Minard 2016©