Perfectly Imperfect

 

I don’t write here much anymore, but I’m grateful for this space to be myself. 

Looking back at this blog is like observing the process of growing up. I think I read somewhere that our emotional growth is stunted at the age that the trauma or traumas occurred, and I feel like when I began this blog in my early 40’s I was emotionally in the stage of adolescence. I was self absorbed, angry, confused, and scared most of the time.  I began therapy in a state of complete denial. I was resistant to help or change, and yet there was this deeply buried sense of self love that I longed to find again. I believe we all begin our lives knowing our worth, but it is fragile and can easily be dismantled. Therapy was my first lifeline, along with people who stuck with me even when I was a royal pain in the ass! Sometimes growing up also means reconnecting to the child inside who forgot how to play and be light. Life is so fucking hard, but now I’m not the one making it difficult. I have tried to stop adding to the chaos, and that makes a huge difference. 

My step dad died last November, and I miss him terribly. I love that he read this blog, and that his comments on my posts are still here for me to read. 

Dave and I have three granddaughters and our sons are healthy and thriving. Dave still battles his brain tumor, and since it is growing back, he will be having a shunt placed soon to redirect the fluid that is blocking his 4th ventricle. 

I’m teaching yoga full time between teaching at a few mental health facilities as well as a yoga studio and some private clients. I am grateful that my passion for yoga can also be my career. 

I don’t feel the need to document my day to day existence anymore, but I’m also not merely existing. My inner and outer worlds are vibrant and I finally know and love the person I am. Perfectly Imperfect…