This summer my oldest son, Christian, is staying with his grandpa and uncle in Florida. I sure do miss him! He will be working his first job and bonding with men, while my mom comes here to help me paint and organize my house. Since I started working full time five years ago, keeping up with four boys and also keeping up with house maintenance has been difficult. Of course, I also have to mention that therapy and blogging take up a large portion of my time! Anyway, thought I would share a poem that I wrote this morning. Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend. Take care:)
Missing Christian
I’ve come to know
that nervous yawn
When my eyes
gaze into yours
and stay too long
Am I the critic
Condemning
blue black hair
Cringing inside
at the clothes
you choose to wear
Are you still
the boy
whose questions
never cease
Eyebrows furrowed
Cursing the darkness
Refusing to sleep
Where is the girl
feeling every frantic kick
Afraid to take you home
Leaving gentle kisses
along the back
of your neck
Now your bed
is empty
The noise you call
music
gone away
Am I the mother
every son
must leave behind
Each moment
of his lifetime
forever in my mind
Missing Christian
I’ve come to know
that nervous yawn
When my eyes
gaze into yours
and stay too long
Am I the critic
Condemning
blue black hair
Cringing inside
at the clothes
you choose to wear
Are you still
the boy
whose questions
never cease
Eyebrows furrowed
Cursing the darkness
Refusing to sleep
Where is the girl
feeling every frantic kick
Afraid to take you home
Leaving gentle kisses
along the back
of your neck
Now your bed
is empty
The noise you call
music
gone away
Am I the mother
every son
must leave behind
Each moment
of his lifetime
forever in my mind
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5 Comments:
sometimes the spreading of wings by your child can be difficult..you just have to remember the relationship isn't ending just changing bit by bit over time... the bond will always be there..
Beautiful redirection of your emotion! I am touched by the way you chose to deal with this certainly necessary (yet difficult) turn in his/your life... hats off! I do hope a lot of moms will get to read this post and allow themselves to get inspired...
{{{{{Angela}}}}} Excellent poem. I can so relate. I have 3 boys of my own. Each stage of independence along the way is such a struggle for us moms. From fretting over letting them ride their bikes further than we have before, to seeing them off to college, to leaving the nest, it's all such a difficult process. They see themselves as men well before we stop seeing them as our babies. It does get easier, I promise. Though missing them is something that seems to always tug no matter what, as he gets more confident in his independence, you will too. You'll worry less and relax more.
This poem (very beautifully written) reminds me of when a couple of my sons were teens and wore their hair in mohawks, dyed blue or green.
Letting go isn't easy; it doesn't necessarily get easier the older they get, either. But I too like the way you chose to redirect your emotion.
Thought of the Day:
"When you teach your son, you teach your son's son." -The Talmud
We are having fun, he is a good boy, but he will be better when he returns!!!! :)
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