I didn't want to go to therapy or see my nutritionist on Wednesday, but I forced myself to go, and I'm glad that I did. My therapist reminded me that this is my therapy, and that we can go at whatever pace feels comfortable to me. That made me feel better about wanting to slow down our trauma work for awhile. The issue that I'm having right now is safety, or rather, my perception of what makes me feel safe. I'm not feeling safe in my body because of recent comments that have been made, and that is very frightening to me. It has definitely fueled the eating disorder, and I know that I need to challenge these misperceptions. The truth is that at a low body weight, I am less able to protect myself. Starvation leads to less awareness of everything, including my surroundings, giving me a false sense of security. I am just now realizing that I have used starvation as a way to feel powerful and in control of my safety. My nutritionist has suggested that I take a women's self defense course, and my husband also thinks that it would be a really good idea, so I'm going to start looking into it. The idea of taking a class like this actually scares me, but maybe I need something more active and concrete to give me a sense of empowerment? If you have thoughts on this subject, I would love to hear them!
Saturday, June 21, 2008
A Self Defense Course?
I didn't want to go to therapy or see my nutritionist on Wednesday, but I forced myself to go, and I'm glad that I did. My therapist reminded me that this is my therapy, and that we can go at whatever pace feels comfortable to me. That made me feel better about wanting to slow down our trauma work for awhile. The issue that I'm having right now is safety, or rather, my perception of what makes me feel safe. I'm not feeling safe in my body because of recent comments that have been made, and that is very frightening to me. It has definitely fueled the eating disorder, and I know that I need to challenge these misperceptions. The truth is that at a low body weight, I am less able to protect myself. Starvation leads to less awareness of everything, including my surroundings, giving me a false sense of security. I am just now realizing that I have used starvation as a way to feel powerful and in control of my safety. My nutritionist has suggested that I take a women's self defense course, and my husband also thinks that it would be a really good idea, so I'm going to start looking into it. The idea of taking a class like this actually scares me, but maybe I need something more active and concrete to give me a sense of empowerment? If you have thoughts on this subject, I would love to hear them!
Posted by Angela at 11:42 AM
Labels: anorexia, eating disorder recovery, ptsd, rape trauma, safety, self defense, Therapy
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7 Comments:
It doesn't hurt to try it..if it works great if not then at least you had the experience..:)
Angel, I think its a good idea to try a self-defence course! For one thing, its exercise, which is always good, right? Secondly, it will help change your perception of yourself, the way you move and how you relate to others.
I started doing Muay Thai kickboxing in 2000. At first I was quite confronted by somone sending their fist towards my face. But that is mostly because I wasn't used to it. Once it became a more regular thing, and I knew what to do in that situation, it really helped me to overcome a lot of my inner anger.
Give it a go - I'm sure it has to be helpful for you!
:)
Thought of the Day:
"It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which more than anything else will affect its successful outcome." - William James
Have a good day!!
Love
I think it's a brilliant idea! Beyond the physical training, a women's self-defense course teaches a psychological empowerment and supports your inner strength. It also helps you to feel more comfortable and strong within your own body, and helps you deal with past victimization. It really would be just the thing for you.
Self defense classes can be fun, I've only been to one because of time clashes with work and classes but I laughed a lot and left feeling powerful.
They're worth a try.
Vicky XXX
No matter the circumstance I think, as women, we all need to know how to defend ourselves. Not only to build our confidence, but to know that we stand a chance, if only by surprise. I also think that survival courses help with confidence. I grew up in a place completely different than where I live today. My husband insisted that we all, including our children, learn how to survive in the desert. It helps me feel safer overall. hugs to you.
I took a RAD self-defense course in high school, and it was a great experience! It really made me appreciate my body more, what it can DO over what it looks like, and I learned a lot of useful things. I say go for it!
Take care of yourself,
Cammy
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