Cold coffee at 1:00 p.m and doing much of nothing on these summer days. I'm enjoying my vacation in a lazy, melancholy sort of way. I'm very aware of the time passing like grains of sand slipping through my fingers, and vaguely guilty that I'm not being more productive. I sleep and dream, savoring each dream that isn't a nightmare, and that is most often the case. I slumber in peace, dozing easily, and sometimes in a meditative state. I feel as if I'm recharging my spirit, coming to terms with the past, and grieving over my loss in a lonely and quiet way. Maybe that is the melancholy feeling that is coming through. Only I can grieve this loss. It is a pain all my own, and although others can empathize, they cannot share it. I suppose that is how all grief is though. It is a lonely feeling.
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2 Comments:
I can relate to this one quite easily. Beautifully written.
It looks like you're starting to heal and feel better. I'm glad to see that--I wish I could, but for that to happen my ex and his idiot friends would have to leave me alone! Not likely to happen any time soon. I'm thinking about starting a second blog so I can talk more freely about my personal stuff, the blog I have going now has a few personal posts on it but it's mostly meant for news and information about my online store. I haven't posted much there lately because there just hasn't been anything new going on with the store site. I think I'm going to have to wait a bit until things die down a bit on the personal side--it's kinda hard to concentrate on making things and being creative when you're facing nasty people dragging you through the courts and feeling like you're being attacked from every direction, know what I mean?
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