Where I Need to Be

I have struggled for the past few days with inertia, feeling stuck in this current anxious state of mind, restless and agitated, but also unable to move forward. Maybe I just get frustrated that I'm not always moving in a forward direction. I think that I need to learn to be still and satisfied that I'm right where I need to be. That seems difficult for me to do. I always feel like I'm reaching and waiting for more, but I'm not even sure what it is that I'm wanting. I have so much as it is, so why is it that I can't seem to find peace and contentment within myself? The critical voice that points out all of my mistakes gets tiring, and I have yet to find a way to quiet it. I think the only thing that stops the endless chatter is when I'm doing yoga. The deep concentration and focus that I have as I move through the poses centers and calms me. I'm working on forearm stands right now. The strength and balance I'm gaining surprises me, and I love feeling like I'm in control of my body and what it can do. I know loss of control is a problem for me. I think it is why I'm having trouble driving right now. I'm not in control of what other people do, and although I know that I never will be, it still frightens me. I filled the prescription that my psychiatrist gave me for the anxiety, so I'm going to try it tomorrow. It is actually a blood pressure medication, and not supposed to have a lot of side effects. Still, all in all, I'm so much better than I've been in the past. There is progress, and I need to keep reminding myself of this. I'm where I need to be.