Wednesday, November 9, 2011

It Will All Be Okay

I was cussed out by a 6 yr. old on the playground today. I'm smiling as I say cussed out because he has autism, and his "words" were not understandable, and yet the tone was definitely cursing! Those are the times when I love my job. He didn't want to go back inside, and I didn't blame him on this beautiful autumn day.
I still haven't left the aggressive student that I work with in the morning though. I'm riding out the storm, and I'm not restraining right now until my broken finger heals. There is another meeting for him tomorrow, and so many people have come into observe him. I think things will change, or he will be transfered to a more appropriate setting than a school classroom. Maybe this is wishful thinking...
Stress is high at home with my son, who was arrested on a drug charge, and is also on the autism spectrum. He is getting diversion, but it costs $850.00, so we had to ask for a continuance because we don't have the money. The judge gave us 8 weeks to come up with the money. We barely make our bills as it is, so we don't have that kind of money just lying around. I have faith that it will work out, but it is a difficult situation none the less.
On the yoga front, I'm practicing, broken finger and all. It holds my sanity in place like nothing else can. Of course the drugs also help ;-)
That brings me to the eating disorder. My recovery is going in such a forward direction, and even though I have stress right now, I'm still eating like a "normal" person. That is not to say that everyday is not a struggle, but I push myself to do it, even though there is the other voice in my head that still whispers to me. I'm learning to accept my body the way it is, flaws and all. So, oh well, I'm not a Victoria's Secret is okay. It will all be okay.


John Buchanan said...

Angela, It is good to see that despite the difficulties you are facing you are remaining positive and succeeding. Well done, you are achieving something you should be very proud of. Wishing you all the best.

Angela said...

Thank you so much, John:)

Anonymous said...

Every single human being has flaws. That is how God created us. Even the Victoria's Secret models have flaws. No human being is perfect and everyone has to work at loving themselves the way they are. No one is exempt from that. Plus, why would you want to be a Victoria's Secret model. Then who would be you? The grass is always greener, right? But the truth is, everyone has their baggage and insecurities and doubts, even the Victoria's Secret models. You just need to worry about being the best YOU. You are given this one life and if you spend the whole time wanting to be someone else, then you are missing out on everything that was intended for YOU. Plus it's boring and tiresome always worrying about someone else. Focus on your strengths and beauty. That's the key to a successful life filled with joy and confidence and happiness and power.

Wanda's Wings said...

You are growing stronger with each post. Despite all the things that are going on your hope shines through. You are a beautiful person. continue to heal and grow.

Anonymous said...

You know there is help there if you need it. Perhaps you should not have to ask, but sometimes it is not always clear what you want or need. I know the Yoga has really helped you and we are more than happy to help you out with this.

I would like to talk to your son and perhaps make some kind of arrangement to help out with the diversion thing. But I don't want to just give him a handout! He needs to understand responsiabiltiy and consequences for his actions. Let me know how we can get this done in the right way.

I am very proud of you and all the accomplishments you have made. We will talk..

Old man in Florida