My Bags Are Packed I'm Ready To Go

My bag are sitting in the doorway of our bedroom and I'm fighting the tears. Since Dave and I started dating over twenty years ago, we have never been apart longer than a week. He is what keeps me connected to this world when I am ready to drift away, it is always for him that I return. I want to do this for me, but mostly I want to recover for all of us. Dave and the boys, and then me. As much as I want to get better, I also don't want to gain weight. I don't think that I need to gain weight. I just want to maintain if possible. I'm sure that is not realistic, but still, it is the direction that my thoughts travel. I'm afraid for tomorrow night. I have never stayed in a hotel by myself. I feel like an immature child who has to learn to do things by herself. Growing up is always so hard.