Sunday, March 16, 2008

She Whispers

I've eaten well this week, and I tell myself that this is good, but still... I am afraid. I'm afraid to get undressed, to take a shower, to look at or even touch my body in any way. Claudia's voice whispers. It is an angry, hissing whisper, which tells me; she too, is filled with fear.

Marya Hornbacher, author of the book Wasted says, "The voice of the eating disorder is stronger than any other voice in the world. I can only imagine, but it's got to be like the call of heroin, or alcohol, if you're an alcoholic or an addict. You will put aside everyone and everything, you will do exactly what you know is not right, for this voice. I called my eating disorder "The Bitch". She sort of sat on my shoulder and hissed in my ear. I mean, this is not hallucinating that there's someone on my shoulder hissing in my ear. But it really does feel like there is someone always behind you, watching what you do."

I agree. The voice of my eating disorder is strong, but there is also my voice, and it says, "I am stronger".


Anonymous said...

Thought of the Day

"We have to learn to be our own best friends because we fall too easily into the trap of being our worst enemies." - Roderick Thorp

Love, Donn

She Became a Butterfly said...

i'm not eating well this week either.

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