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Saturday, July 12, 2008

I Am A Warrior

warrior woman

"There is a lot of tragedy in the world. There are thousands of people who have experienced unbelievable pain and suffering like you have. And there are thousands more who have had to survive much, much worse. It can be done. Each day you get up and you make a decision on whether or not your will be a survivor. I would imagine all you need to do is look into the eyes of your children to know what has to be done. Walk away from the past and start walking toward your future."

This was an anonymous comment on my previous post. What this person said is very true, but I already feel like a survivor. I already know that it can be done. I survived for thirty years without asking for help...believing that I somehow deserved what happened to me. I realize that other people have suffered much worse tragedies in their lives than I have. I'm not worried about other people. Letting go of the secret of having been raped, also means that I have to face the trauma that I hid from for many years. There are repercussions to literally facing my demons, and those are what I'm working on getting through. I ran from my past for too long, and I'm leaving behind the guilt and shame. I decided to be a survivor a long time ago, and now it is my time to heal so that I may fly toward my future... finally free.

6 Comments:

Sunny said...

AMEN SISTER!

You're so right.
You ARE a survivor and you are on the road to not just surviving, but THRIVING! :)

You can do it and....gosh, I just love you! :)

Anonymous said...

Thought of the Day:

"Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we resort to to hide them." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Angel said...

Ahhh, the methods that I have resorted to! This quote is right on, but I'm trying to fix this, for sure. Eating disorder, drinking, lying...so many methods, all have failed. Now I'm trying to do it the right way. I feel that I'm on my way.

Anonymous said...

Yeah! Finally you ARE speaking as a survivor and everything you have done, rather than everything you haven't done or have failed to do or can't do. Titling this entry as "I Am A Warrior" is awesome. This is the first entry in a long time that paints you in a light as a survivor and not a victim. Every entry in your blog should be written with the heart of a warrior. There isn't a magical day that you will be "healed" so there is no time to waste waiting. We are all healing and mending every day of our lives. It's a process, not an answer. So pick up your sword, fight your demons, and believe that TODAY IS THE DAY that you are free!

Angel said...

I will definitely work on writing more posts with the heart of a warrior. I feel a poem coming on!

Much love,
Angie

Tawnya said...

I love your posts. I have finally decided after 26 years of hiding what happened to me I want to heal. I want to move on. I want to be able to say what happened to me to my husband. However, I don't know where to start. I live in Germany and have no support group. What was the first step you took? I am 30 years old and scared to death to finally face my past but I know I have to for my families sake. Any suggestions or guidance is so greatly appreciated. Thanks for your time.