Sunday, July 27, 2008

Out Of The Shadows

Last night we had Dave's family over for dinner so that they could see all of the work that my mom and I did to the house. It was a very nice evening. This morning we are all up early, and just said goodbye to my mom, who is driving back to Florida for the next two days. It is going to be strange without her, after a month of her being here to whip us all into shape. I'm sure that I will feel a bit lost for a few days.
I plan on starting my yoga classes. Now that I'm eating healthy, I also want to do something else that is good for my body. I haven't been on the treadmill or exercised at all while my mom was here, except for all of the painting that we did! It is time to start treating my body right with food and exercise. I hear Claudia's voice in the distance, and I know that I have to be careful not to become obsessed with exercising, because that is also a tendency of mine, but I think that I am strong enough to control it now. It is important for me to recognize the pitfalls of the eating disorder, so that I can avoid them along the way. I limit myself to only 30 minutes on the treadmill, because I used to stay on for hours, and become obsessed by the numbers of carbs and calories that I was burning. I feel strong enough to be able to do this in a healthy way, without becoming triggered. One thing that I realize that I can't do right now or maybe ever, is look at magazines. My mom and I bought a couple of rag mags yesterday, and they are very triggering. I compare myself to all of the celebrities, and just end up feeling bad about myself. I'm not going to do that to myself anymore, so, in the trash they will go. I refuse to live my life in the shadow of others.
Well, that's all for now. Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday. Take care!

"Insist on yourself; never imitate".
Ralph Waldo Emerson


Sunny said...

The wonderful thing about yoga is the "do it until you drop" mentality doesn't jive with it. It's more about patience with the body and it's about finding a it's AWESOME for someone who has struggled with an eating disorder! It definitely helped me a bunch. I don't do it like I used to, but I often use the meditation practice to help center myself when I get stressed. There are so many benefits from practicing yoga! :) I think you'll enjoy it.

I know what you mean about magazines. I have the same know though, I find I hardly want to look at them anymore. They're like poison for me. Life is better without them.