Purging

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My closet is clean. I usually don't mention size, but I gave away pants that I wore when I weighed less than eighty pounds. I'm not sure how I feel at the moment. To be honest... very upset...who would even understand? I'm sad, and sick, and near tears over it, but why?...

Comments

Anonymous said…
I have clothes from size 1 to 14 in my closet still, I think I understand a little bit. You are very brave..
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
brie said…
I have given (begrudgingly, I might add) pants away that were definitely what I wore while emaciated...child size clothing, etc. It was awful, terrifying...but once I did it, once I let go of them, I felt free from them, like they were a link in the chain that was keeping me down. By giving them away, I loosened ED's grasp on me a little. And that's all it takes: just a little at a time until, eventually, you emerge triumphant.

I believe in you.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Sunny said…
Oh hon...I can understand what you're going through right now. You know, with all change there must be a time of letting go and mourning. Allow yourself the time to mourn, but also remember that for every loss there is something to be gained. In this case, you are getting your life back.

Love ya.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
emmy. said…
i know how hard this is. the first time i did it, i cried the whole time. the second time was a little easier. the third was freeing. it felt fantastic. i wanted to get rid of it all. they were childrens' clothing.

i'm so proud of you. pain is part of growth. you will continue to get stronger.

congratulations :)
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
The Speaker said…
Take your time. Keep breathing. Know that you are strong and incredible and brave. I love you.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
R. Brady Frost said…
I understand that ED is a disorder that is very personal and affects the very core of the way a person views themselves, but I just don't find super-skinny girls attractive.
I don't know... maybe subconsciously I perceive it as a sign of weakness, not mental weakness but physical. People who are below their target body weight are more susceptible to illness and disease because they have a weakened immune system.

I congratulate you on your progress to becoming more healthy. It's a long, hard road, but you can make it. You're building a new self image, and I'm proud of you for it.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Anonymous said…
Thought of the Day:

"Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are your own fears." - Rudyard Kipling

Keep up the good work, I hope your mother is helping. Keep busy, that helps.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Anonymous said…
Hey Angela (((((((Hugs))))))) I understand hon on many different levels//
You are a brave and courageous woman Be proud of yourself x
Thursday, July 10, 2008
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