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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thoughts And Feelings

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I'm overwhelmed with sadness over all the people I have hurt by my actions.

I'm sick of my own tears that flow off and on throughout each day.

I'm conflicted about the fact that I'm still here.

I don't know why I did it.

I'm mostly letting Claudia tell me what to do because it feels easier to let her make the decisions.

I can't concentrate or focus, and going to work is harder than I thought it would be.

Just 10 lbs. and then I will be happy seems to be my mantra. It comforts me.

I see my psychiatrist and my psychologist today. I hope they can help me.

I hate the dissapointed, questioning look on everyone's face.

The caring is bigger than the hurt, or so they say.

My own anger terrifies me.

Letting go sounds easier than it really is.

I am greatly loved.

9 Comments:

Rita T. said...

Touching.....

Jane Doe said...

There is such aching sadness here and a sense of despair that seems to weigh you down. I am way too familiar with those feelings. I hope that your appointments go well. Hang in there.

Blessings,

Jane

The Speaker said...

I love you.
Please don't let go.

Thank you for everything Angie.
You are beautiful.

Heather said...

<3 <3 <3 <3

aZoed said...

touched me so much... stirred my rather cold soul.. thank you.

PinkLady said...

my heart goes to you Angel... just hold on there please... everything will get better "tomorrow"... the next day... in the morning... promise

hugs for you,

Bing

Shinade said...

Oh Angel,
I just now am coming out of one the darkest, deepest, and longest depressions that I have ever experienced in my life.

Your words here express the feelings so well.

I do so hope you turn the corner quickly and the monster once again goes back to sleep.

Just hang in there and it will pass.

Oh you are a wonderful writer. you touched my heart so deeply!

Francis Scudellari said...

I can only pretend to understand the emotions you're going through, but please know that we're all very happy you're still here and we appreciate very much the opportunity to know you ... even if it's only through this virtual medium.

floreta said...

your voice on this blog is so honest. i hope you keep writing.