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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Work Stress

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I've been feeling really down and anxious lately, and I'm beginning to wonder if my medication is even working. The anxiety is getting bad, and I have had a few panic attacks in the last week. I know that it mostly has to do with stress at work. At the school that I work at in the morning, I was basically accused of not doing my job. A para that I work with has been saying things that are so untrue, but I was still called into a meeting with two of my supervisors over it. They want to make sure that I'm being a team player. It has really upset me, and makes working at that school very uncomfortable. I don't even know if my supervisors believe it or not, but even the thought that they do causes me so much anxiety. I've never been accused of not doing my job before! Working with adults can be so much more difficult than working with kids with special needs. It's ridiculous really that people can be so petty and mean. I guess it also bothers me to know that someone doesn't like me. I know that not everyone is going to like me, but I try so hard, and I've never done anything that I can think of to make this woman not like me. I know that I shouldn't let things like this get to me so much. Needless to say, this has caused me to feel very anxious. I'm counting down the weeks until the school year is over and summer break is here. I also have to remember that I'm there for the kids, and that is what is ultimately important. Other than that, everything else is good. I'm doing better with food, and even with the stress, I've been able to eat and stay on track. I've only purged once in the past week, and I'm trying so hard not to let the eating disordered thoughts creep in. I think that is the hardest part. Wouldn't it be wonderful if there really was such a thing as recovery?

10 Comments:

zorlone said...

Hello Angela,

I hope you are okay... I have never met anyone who openly admits an eating disorder. You can overcome it!

You must already know a lot about your condition, but one of the tags caught my attention, "panic attack," I remember writing about that for helium. I want to share it with you.

here is the link

http://www.helium.com/items/1348637-panic-attacks-symptoms-treatment-dr-tilton-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-alternative-explanation

Z

Rebecca said...

I used to have panic arracks so bad that I would forget to breath and nearly passed out.

Then one day I decided to switch my laundry detergent to a "free"(free of perfumes and dyes) type and over time I noticed my attacks were not nearly as frequent and before long they were gone.

I had also stopped drinking diet cola's because of "Rumfeld's Poison" (aspartame) so I'm not real sure which change is the one that worked but I've decided it doesn't matter - I'm not going back.

The attacks can leave you drined so be sure to take a multi B complex vitamin.

Good luck to you - they are horrible and exhausting.

Rebecca said...

oops - sorry for the typo - haven't had a full cup of coffee yet :-0

Angel said...

Thanks for the link zorlone. I will check it out:)

Rebecca,
I never thought about detergent or diet coke causing panic attacks. I'm glad that cutting them out worked for you. I don't know if I could totally give up diet coke though!
Take care:)

Ray said...

I hope you'll feel better soon.
Take care!

beth said...

You are going to be just fine. There are many of us behind you wishing you the best of luck. That can be powerful.

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