Just A Few Pounds

Ahhhh, I'm really struggling today. I look at pictures of myself now, and I look so fat compared to old pictures of myself, and I like the old pictures better. Such shallow thoughts...but still it is hard, and I can't stop crying right now. My therapist asked me some questions the other day when I told her that I was feeling fat and hating my body. She asked me if I was happy, and I said yes. She asked me if I thought I was a better wife and mother now, and I said yes. Then she said, " Maybe that is worth feeling fat sometimes." I'm not happy at this moment, and I just have to believe that it will pass, and that I will learn to accept who and where I am now. At this moment, I'm on the all yogurt diet, until I can lose some weight. I know that is my eating disorder talking, but I feel as if I have to have some control, and for now, it is making me feel better. For now, I just want to feel better. Maybe I will make an emergency call to my nutritionist, and she can help me through this. I feel so alone right now. I tell myself just a few pounds, and it will all be okay...