Tuning In

~I want to believe~

I have something that I want to say, but the words won't come. Maybe they are just feelings that I stuff deep inside, and I turn that into fat. Feeling fat. That is how I feel today, and perhaps it is because I took my mom to the airport this morning, and the longing feels heavy, and so I physically wear it. The weight of it clings to me, and more than anything right now, I want to somehow find a way within myself to change it. I have therapy in an hour, but what I feel like doing more than anything right now is to run, and sweat, and feel my body working for me, not against me. Maybe when I'm feeling like this, I need to tune into my body instead of trying to escape it. I don't know...I'm just trying to figure out how to turn this around, because I'm so tired of always blaming my body and hating myself. I will try to exercise today when I get home, and see if that helps. Actually, just writing this has helped some, and I suppose that is why I blog. :-)