Monday, June 1, 2009

Tuning In


~I want to believe~

I have something that I want to say, but the words won't come. Maybe they are just feelings that I stuff deep inside, and I turn that into fat. Feeling fat. That is how I feel today, and perhaps it is because I took my mom to the airport this morning, and the longing feels heavy, and so I physically wear it. The weight of it clings to me, and more than anything right now, I want to somehow find a way within myself to change it. I have therapy in an hour, but what I feel like doing more than anything right now is to run, and sweat, and feel my body working for me, not against me. Maybe when I'm feeling like this, I need to tune into my body instead of trying to escape it. I don't know...I'm just trying to figure out how to turn this around, because I'm so tired of always blaming my body and hating myself. I will try to exercise today when I get home, and see if that helps. Actually, just writing this has helped some, and I suppose that is why I blog. :-)


clean and crazy said...

i love blogging too. i have something that is really bothering me and i know that i need to share it too. i am glad you feel better, you deserve to be happy

Missing In Sight said...

I hope things feel better for you. My wish for you is that you find other coping skills (like blogging and MODERATE exercise) to get you through the rough patch.

I know how hard this is.

Stay strong and take good care of yourself.

Rebecca of Missing In Sight

Descartes said...

Your good enough, your smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!

I've been a self help junkie for the better part of my life, and that is about what all of them boil down to.

May the force be with you.