Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Almost Manic


I made it through Monday, and only got hit and kicked a few times. Working with aggressive kids sends my adrenaline up so high that by the end of the day I feel a bit manic. I felt close to a panic attack by lunch time, but I sat in my car for twenty minutes and listened to Josh Groban. That was calming, and the rest of the day was better. I'm fighting a cold, so most of this weekend was shot. I was running a fever, and slept most of Saturday away. Dave and I did get to go out Friday night though, and it was nice. I needed to decompress after a crazy work week. I'm so tired on the weekends, and I hate wasting them resting when I have so much that needs to be done around the house. I'm finding it hard to balance everything when I work full time. Of course, I need my computer and blogging time;-)

Tomorrow I see my therapist and nutritionist. I've been feeling spacey and numb for the past week. Dealing with my dad always brings so many feelings to the surface, and I'm sure that is what I'm pushing down. Maybe I will be able to talk through my emotions in my therapy session. I haven't seen my nutritionist in a couple of weeks. I know that I need to get back on track with my eating or lack there of. There are so many things that are triggering the anorexia. Losing weight is a trigger because there is always more to lose in my mind. Stress at work is affecting my appetite, and not eating is also a great way to distract myself from emotional issues. These are the times that I need the help of my treatment team, and I'm so glad that I have them. I feel like I'm needing extra support right now. That is okay though. I really feel like I will be able to deal with this set back, and as always, I keep on reminding myself that I have come so far. I still feel positive about the direction in which my life is headed.


enchantedoak said...

I enjoy the positive attitude in the midst of adversity that you show. I've been blue about my mother's dementia and my own eating disorder this week. You're a poet. I published a poem about a simple household task--dusting--on my new blog tonight. Will you check it out?
All the best to you,

clean and crazy said...

you will get into your groove, be patient with yourself. this job with these kids is a huge change in your daily routine. this is called a learning curve, now you just need to figure out your groove girl. don't sweat it you are not perfect and you never will be. this morning i made some granola it was yummy and i made a protein shake with fruit. have you tried shakes yet? i love them and they do have meal replacement ones to keep your body with nutrients, so you don't feel guilty about skipping meals. i know you mentioned the anorexia, try to change your perspective on that and know that a lot of women, with very busy schedules miss meals too. and this is one solution you know a shake and just try to get a drink in.
boy do i know about kids with behaviors!! you are strong and it will take a couple of weeks to find your energy on the weekends, part of the lack of is the not getting enough nutrients your body needs to chase those little ones around. you are in my prayers my friend, take care of you, because you are worth it!!

Ann said...

That's the way, keep on a positive track.
I know what you mean about balancing everything. Working full time, taking care of things at home and still fitting time in for yourself is a problem I have. It's usually the housework that suffers the most for me.

Ann said...

I just stopped back to tell you I left you an award on my blog. Not sure if you do them or not but it's there for you.

Wanda's Wings said...

You have got a lot to balance right now. Your attitude is good which will take you a long way.