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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Waiting

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I feel like I'm waiting for the storm to hit. I thought that the waiting and anticipation would be over by this time today, but no such luck. Dave's neurology appointment that was scheduled today had to be rescheduled for next week because his surgeon had an emergency surgery to perform. We found out yesterday, and I was so disappointed. It is so nerve wracking having to wait, and my anxiety is really high. I know that I shouldn't think the worst, but that is always what I have tended to do. I'm afraid of the disappointment, and I figure that if I think of the worst scenario and I don't get my hopes up, then it won't hurt so much if I get bad news. I'm ready to know what we are dealing with, so that we can move on, move forward, and make plans. It is hard. We know that the tumor is growing, thankfully slowly, but it is growing, and because it is touching the brain stem, it cannot at this point be totally removed. He has already gone through two surgeries, and now we don't know what are next options are. I just want to know in what direction we are going. We were supposed to hear from our surgeon about a second opinion that he was going to get from another doctor, but we never heard back from him about it. It is so frustrating! So now, next Tuesday is his appointment, and I can hardly wait. I'm taking off work so that I can be there to ask questions, and to be another pair of ears for Dave. I can only imagine how overwhelming all of this is for him. I want to be able to give him support and strength through all of this. We have been through so much together. Whatever it takes to keep him here with us is what we will do. I'm determined to get some answers!

7 Comments:

Jennifer said...

I understand the idea that if you think the worst, the worst won't happen! I hope your husband's appointment goes well and know you have the strength to be there for him.

Zan said...

I really hate such waiting as well.. when you know something is coming you just don't know what.
Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
xx

Angel said...

Thanks Jennifer and Zan. I appreciate the good thoughts!
Take care:)

PJ said...

you and yours are always in my thoughts and blessings. much love to you angela...hugz!

Ann said...

Oh so sorry to hear that you have to wait longer. It must be very frustrating for both of you. I'm the same way with always expecting the worst. I'll be thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.

Catherine said...

Your blog is beautiful and your a beautiful writer. God bless in everything you do!

Domestic Goddess..Diva sometimes said...

To have to wait? I'm sorry. I hope all goes well at his apointment.