Sunday, March 14, 2010



"Don't let the imaginary person in your head
keep you from loving the real one right in front of you."~ unknown

Where does the imaginary person stop, and the real woman begin? Where and who is the real me, and how do I find her? When did I lose her? I want so much to know who I am. I don't want to be that perfect girl who hides behind the mask. It is a facade that over the years has finally worn me down. Right now I feel broken, and what I need is to build myself back up. I listen too often to the imaginary voice who tells me that I'm not good enough. I listen to the eating disorder who says that I'm fat, ugly, and disgusting. I twist the words of others, hearing only the negative, and disregarding the positive. I'm tired of being one diagnosis after another. I have so many questions because I'm unsure as to how I go about changing my own scewed perceptions of myself. Even though I want to change, and I believe that I can change, it is difficult to know how to go about it. Tackling the eating disorder is one way, I suppose. I don't want to hurt myself anymore, and that is a step in the right direction. One day, I hope to believe that I'm worth saving.


Ann said...

Believe Angela, BELIEVE

Nicole said...

You are definitely worth saving, Angie, you are worth so very much. I wish you could borrow my eyes so you could see yourself as I see you: an incredible, amazing, beautiful woman. I believe in you and I have faith that you will one day believe in yourself as well. Keep holding on because this world needs you in it.

All my love <3<3<3

Wanda's Wings said...

You are worth saving. It's one day at a time. You can do it. I believe in you.

Anonymous said...

You are an immortal soul who chose this life for all the joy and pain it could bring. Just embrace it all and know it will all make sense on the other side.

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ArchaeoTerra said...

I know this is a bit random and possibly unhelpful, but everytime I hear the song 'Courage' by Superchic(k) I think of you. It's a very beautiful song about people struggling with feeling just like you're expressing so beautifully here.

Angela said...

I love that song! Thank you very much:)