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Monday, May 24, 2010

Summer Musings

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Today I have already accomplished one of the chores on my list, which was to do some deep cleaning in my kitchen. Tomorrow, I think I may tackle our refrigerator. Yuck!
I sat outside today, and just let my mind wander, while I listened to some music on my i-pod. I love the warmth of the sun on my skin, and summer is my favorite time of the year. I'm so lucky to have a break from work, so that I can enjoy it.
I'm trying to figure out when we can go to Florida. Dave and I both have high school reunions to attend, and the boys have activities to work around. I'm hoping that it will work out though.
Today I have a therapy appointment, and then tomorrow Dave and I have couples therapy. I'm not fond of couples therapy. I get so nervous about what he is going to say. I feel like I'm doing better, but I know that he has concerns. We tend to protect each other too much. I don't want him to worry about me, so I try to keep my feelings in check around him. I feel like he treats me like a child, but maybe I really do act like a child. I know that in some ways I feel like I'm growing up and away from the little girl that was abused. I'm letting her go, and moving on, and that is definitely a growing process. We also just had our 20th anniversary, which we are going to celebrate on Wednesday. We are going to our favorite restaurant, and I'm looking forward to going out. We don't get out often enough.
I think that eating disorder recovery is going well. I've been consistently eating my meals and exercising. Thursday I will have a weigh in with my nutritionist, and that is always nerve racking. I don't know my weight, but she will tell me if I've lost or gained. I will worry that I have gained because I'm eating more, although I don't feel like I have. I feel great, and have a lot more energy, so that does make it worth it. I have support, and that also helps. Well that is all for now. Hope everyone is having a great week, and I appreciate all of the positive comments on my posts. I have wonderful blogging friends:)

5 Comments:

Ann said...

Happy Anniversary to you and Dave.
One thing to keep in mind when you see that number on the scale. Just because it's higher doesn't mean a bad thing. Muscle weighs more than fat so with all the exercising you're doing it's very likely to raise the number

Paula said...

More energy and you feeling so well is worth so much more then a number on a scale.
It is so good to read that you feel more upbeat about your consistency and recovery. You go girl!

Angela said...

Thanks Ann and Paula. You are right that I'm more than a number on the scale. I need to keep reminding myself:) Thanks for the support!

clean and crazy said...

you and i are so much a like. i am so child like myself, my therapist tells me i need a new form of therapy. couple therapy makes me nervous too i think the two of them are going to gang up on me.

Ruth said...

Couples or group therapy can be tough, when I was a kid we were in "family therapy" for a while and I always felt like everyone was ganging up on me and blaming everything that went wrong in the family on me. Not a fun time.

Happy Anniversary! 20 years is awesome!

Maybe you feel like Dave treats you like a child because you didn't have a good relationship with your own dad growing up? Maybe in a way you're looking for a "daddy figure" and Dave just happens to be the most convenient adult male to project that on.