Weighing In

Yesterday was my appointment with my nutritionist, and it went well. I was nervous because I knew that I was going to be weighed. I'm doing blind weights, so I don't know what my actual weight is, although I still guess at it! I hadn't been weighed in a few weeks, and although I haven't gained any weight in a year, I'm still always anxious about it. My weight has been stable, but this week I had actually lost 3 1/2 lbs. I was really excited about it, and yes, probably too excited. I was so worried that increasing my food intake would make me gain, but this proves to me that's not the case, and I'm so relieved. Now I feel more comfortable with my meal plan, and I think the exercise is helping to boost my metabolism, which has been sluggish due to the restricting. I know that it's not about losing weight, but being healthy, or at least I hope that if I keep on telling myself that, I will believe it. Losing weight is so seductive, and for me, all it leads to is wanting to lose more. I do think that I'm past the stage of never believing that I'm thin enough. I no longer want to disappear. My nutritionist says that if I follow the plan, my body will fall into a natural and healthy weight, and I'm going to trust and believe that will happen. I'm going to continue with what I've been doing, and let the rest go.