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Saturday, October 16, 2010

Grieving

Grief Pictures, Images and Photos

“My grief lies all within, and these external manners of lament are merely shadows to the unseen grief that swells with silence in the tortured soul” ~Shakespeare

Sometime I feel the grief swelling inside of my chest, and it overwhelms me to the depths of despair. It follows me around like thunder in my soul, pounding in my ears...a heavy weight that bears down on top of me. I want it to go away, and yet it almost feels good to hurt. Allowing myself to acknowledge my feelings is helping me to heal, so I keep on fighting not to push it away. I understand my reticence to go through this because it hurts like nothing else that I've ever felt. It makes me dread even more the loss of those that I love, if that makes any sense. Grieving all that I've lost...time, and the child that I was, has changed who I am, but it has also made me stronger. It makes me want to hold on even more tightly to what I have, so I'm holding on, and letting go.

4 Comments:

Flannery said...

So much to be frightened of. I don't have the darkness in my past that you do, and yet I'm still so afraid to deal with my various griefs that half the time I don't even remember that I'm blocking them out so completely, I'm so used to doing it.

You're amazing! Keep holding on, keep letting go.

Julie G said...

Hi Angela,
I don't cofess to know what people are going through, but I feel I can say I do know with you. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and my road/journey to heal took many twist and turns.
I encourage you to be with your feeling...either sad or happy. Just let them come. Acknowledge them never ignore. I know it feels like the pain will never end, but find your worth and believe you are worth everything they said you weren't and believe it more ever day. I believe in you and know you are a wonderful brilliant person...spread your wings my darling and fly...xxx

Wanda's Wings said...

I can understand the losses caused by sexual abuse. How hard it is to feel the pain. So many years we have tired to block it out. That was the only way to live through the nightmare. You are at a growing place now and that can be so hard. Never give up your fight because you are so worth it.(((((Angela)))))

Nicole said...

I'm very proud of you for being so brave as you go through this. Your strength is incredible and you amaze me. You have always amazed me.

Keep fighting, I'm thinking of you <3

<3<3<3
Nicole