Friday, June 24, 2011

Self Care And Making Appearances

This has been the perfect day. I slept in until 10:00, and then hung out by the pool with some friends all afternoon, and tonight Dave and I are going out. It is summer days like this that make me so aware of how hard it is for me in the winter. The cold, the dark, and being cooped up inside all fuel my depression. I need to live in a warmer climate! Yesterday after work, I took two yoga classes, came home, ate dinner, and then slept like a baby. I'm learning how to take better care of myself and being able to listen to what my body needs. If it needs 2 yoga classes in one day, then heck, I'm going to listen. I've been waking up in the mornings, fixing coffee, and then doing some weights and yoga poses before I get ready for work. It is a nice way to start the day.
Self care is a funny thing. I went for years obsessively exercising and restricting my food, but I thought that I was taking care of myself. I'm meticulous when it comes to my appearance. Isn't that self care? When does caring too much become harmful? I don't like to be seen or walk outside of my house without makeup. It is part of my perfectionism, and caring too much about what other people think of me. In therapy we talk a lot about hiding behind a mask so as not to reveal the truth about ourselves. I still care about my appearance, but it is ok for people to see me with bed head, or without my makeup. It is funny, but when Jenny, Eve, and Jessieh were here, I didn't even take a shower and fix myself up before letting them see me in the morning. It says a lot about how safe I felt with them. I'm even going to post the pictures of us from that morning even though I have some morning hair and makeup:)



Jenny and I


Eve and I


Jessieh and I



Eve said...

You are fantastic! I love the honesty. And I love that you are happy!

I love you!
Keep it up! You are motivating me more than I can ever tell you!

Haley said...

That is so awesome that you are finally appreciating your body :)
Twisted, but I also thought that I was doing the best for my body when I was working it to death with my job and running 24/7 without any food in my system. Obviously that's not right.
Anyway, you look beautiful. ;)