Well, my sense of foreboding was pretty much right on target. The meeting for the student I work with did not go the way that I had hoped, and restraining him is back on the table. The safe room is only to be used as a last resort. I'm upset, and I know that I said I would be done if I had to restrain, but I went ahead and told them I would give it a try, and if it was too much, then I would want to be placed elsewhere. I know...I know...!!!! I'm a glutton for punishment, but I will give it a week and see how it goes. I know there are some people who are going to be disappointed in me for staying, and I know that no one wants to see me get hurt. My therapist thinks this is a form of self harm, and maybe she is right. I don't know...I have therapy tonight, and we will talk about it. That is all for now. I have some time off from work, and it will give me more time to think about it. Hope you all are having a fabulous week!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
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5 Comments:
Sorry you didn't get the outcome you were hoping for! I think the decision to trial it for a week is okay, as long as you really do remove yourself from the situation if it's too much. There's no shame in saying no if it becomes a problem!
I know you will make the right decision. I believe you don't want them thinking you're not a team player. It has to do with wanting everyone to like you, so you don't want to make waves. You're always more than fair, so don't second guess yourself. Sometimes we have to do what's right for ourselves. In this situation you are definitly not being selfish. Remember they're doing what's easiest for them, not what's right or safe for you.
Love Mom
You made the right decision for you. I know you have thought long about this and I support whatever you do!
Just be careful and pay attention to why you are making these decisions. Being a "glutton for punishment" speaks volumes and your therapist is right that this is a form of self harm. This kind of behavior continues to put you in a place where everyone has to come to your rescue. Is that really where you want to be?
You don't babble, you write and explore and express and just, you are wonderful and I find you so inspiring <3
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