Today I'm hurting over a student that I worked with for over a year. I made the decision to move on, and though I know it is for the best, it is still difficult. I do grow attached to the kids that I work with, and it is hard to let go when the time comes. I've been doing this job for ten years, so you would think that it gets easier, but it doesn't. I knew today that when I was flinching everytime he came near me, it wasn't going to work anymore. There were also some other politics that led to my choice to leave. Basically the school doesn't care about the safety of their staff, and I was tired of being injured and no one having my back. Part of me feels as if I've failed or given up, but then the other part feels like I'm doing what I need to do to take care of myself. It will be easier to get up and go to work everyday knowing that I'm not going to be hit. It is only Tuesday, and I feel so exhausted. I'm glad that next week will be short because of the Thanksgiving holiday. Wishing everyone a great week.
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3 Comments:
Angela,
What you've shared has definitely shown what a kind, loving, giving and persistent soul you are. Though, we may have a want for something to come to pass through our actions; we truly only have the choice in how WE go about each day.
It IS sad that you've had to let go and move on (or at least begin this process). It doesn't mean that you have failed by any measure. You've not given up.
Sometimes parts do not fit or line up in balance. This doesn't mean that cannot eventually happen; but it might just not involve one the way that they have been used to (if that makes sense).
The aspect of you that says, "take care of me" is just as deserving as the student you've been working with. Sometimes we come to crossroads where we chose and therefore realize or know that we've done what we can and that doesn't mean all ends. It just means, in my belief, a transition.
Please be kind to you and celebrate the wisdom you have and know that the energy you've placed with and for this particular student is not in vain. It will carry on and eventually transpose.
I hope you can find some respite and peace in knowing that the decisions you make for yourself are worthy of that care and attention.
With light.
Be well.
You are such a caring person, Sometimes you just got to stop and take care of you.
I'm sorry you had such a hard day. I know this wss a very difficult choice for you to have to make, but you did make the absolute right decision. It's just too bad that you were put in a position like that, where your safety was being disregarded and your concerns were being ignored.
Sensory says it best and I completely agree with her, this is by no means a failure, it is only a transition. It was the right time for you to move on.
I am really proud of you for taking care of yourself.
<3<3<3
Nicole
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