Thursday, March 15, 2012

My Saviour

My Saviour

Your silence weighs heavy
I've done something wrong

I quietly contemplate your words
Living my whole life in silences
I understand the oceans we create
I have always been the enemy
My own...

The tearing open of my heart
and each and every memory
coming to the surface is met with shame

I would tell you
but you would never see me
in the way that I need

In your eyes I can believe in who I am
who I've made you believe
Who would you be to judge?
Who is anyone, really?

We all hide behind our masks
Strangers with empty words and promises
It is the strangeness that I see in myself

I can hold you at a distance
losing the will to fly

My dreams of flying without chains
what binds me are the shackles
that I've tied to myself

My choice to stay is always mine
It is my saviour in the world I fear
The shadows standing in the doorway
haunting the safety I try to feel in your arms

I ask for permission
to be here, for your love
The ambivalence of existing
in the heaviness of my skin

Will these words be lost
my voice a whisper
going unheard...

Angela Minard 2012©