Monday, May 21, 2012

I Am

Artwork by~  Santiago SepĂșlveda

Sometimes I am angry, mean-spirited, and hateful. I feel unloveable. Mostly I keep these pieces of myself hidden from the world, and even myself. Mostly I bend over backward to be kind, calm, easy going, and friendly. I'm critical. I can be witty, fun loving, with a sarcastic sense of humor. I'm a good mom, sometimes too leniant. I make mistakes. Big ones. I'm impatient, I want everything now. I'm selfish, giving. We are everything. Flawed, imperfect, broken, but human. I have lived in the darkness, reaching for the light, and it is good to be alive. I've wondered when I would get to this place of accepting every part of me. Letting go of shame has been the most difficult part, and it washes over me in painful ways. More than anything I have to understand that I am not what has happened to me. I'm learning to integrate all of these parts of me into one whole person. Yes, it is good to be alive...


Jennifer said...

It is true, that we are all made up of different qualities, some positive, some negative, and the trick is self-forgiveness and the attempt to transcend, knowing that transcendence is impossible.

And, yes, it's good to be alive! But hard sometimes.