In yoga, there is a pose called "warrior pose." The arms spread like wings, strong and confident, the heart open to receive. The very first time I did this pose, I felt like crying, and wondered why I was so emotional. It was at a time when I wasn't feeling so strong. I was in treatment, and had just been released to have some physical activity, and yoga was what was offered. I immediately connected with the movements, and although I was weak, and my legs were shaking through each pose, I felt a sense of calm and strength that I had not felt in a very long time. I was fighting, and the word warrior to me means to fight a battle with courage and conviction.
This was my blog post in November of 2007, just before I went into treatment.
Tomorrow I go and get my lab work and EKG done, and then I will go and talk to my work about a leave of absence. I will most likely be flying to Florida on Monday, and then be admitted Tuesday morning. Everything is happening so fast, which is good, because otherwise I would probably try to back out. I'm going to miss Dave and the boys so much. It makes my heart ache horribly just thinking about it. I just keep telling myself, "I am strong, I am worthy, I am a warrior woman!" Hopefully one day very soon I will try on that phrase, and it will be more than just words. I will try it on, it will fit, and I will wear it well!