Sunday, July 15, 2012

A Catch Up Post

Artwork~ Jennifer Lanne Original
The Brillance of Butterflies.

The cat next door is crying to be let in, and it is so hot outside. I feel bad about the cat...helpless.

It is the warmth that somehow makes me feel safe, as if in a cocoon, so I sit on the back porch today for bits at a time.

I called my friend Jenny, because I miss her. I was reading her blog, Jenny Sawle, and looking at the amazing art that she is making at art camp. Most of it is on clothing, and she is such a gift to me.

I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, and sometimes I think my words are meaningless, falling on deaf ears. I question whether they are any good. Mostly I do write them for me, and that is what I need to remember.

My therapist thinks I need some twice a week sessions, making me know how much I'm slipping into coping mechanisms. My eating has been sporadic, which I blame on the heat and being off my schedule. I missed some medication, and of course the depression is always lurking, waiting for an opportunity to make an appearance. I was sleeping too much, and not even motivated to do yoga, but I've forced myself this week to get up and get going, so I'm feeling better. I worry. My dreams have been disturbing, lingering into the day. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself because I'm just me...nothing more or less because of my struggles.  

My parents will be here soon, bringing my 3rd son home. I have so much to do to get ready this week. It always feels good once the house is back in order, so their visit is what I need to motivate me. My mother-in-law planted flowers in my window boxes and pots while I was out of town. I love that I have flowers again, as the past couple of years they have sat empty.

That is all for today. A friend asked me if I was still blogging besides the poetry, so I thought I would catch you all up :-)


Truth Ahad said...

Thanks for sharing. It seems you are going through a lot. And the most important is that you realize where you are emotionally. I've recently discovered yoga as well. I'm so proud of you for pushing through! Enjoy your days with your parents and son :)

Angela said...

Thank you:)I appreciate your comments!

Missy said...

Gosh...i hope that didn't come across as a demand like "post something besides poetry!' lol. it was entirely not the gist.

it was nice to get an update though and yes - heat is making all appetites wonky but unfortunately people with "backgrounds" can't just take this type of thing lightly as we are always prone and susceptible so stay vigilanT!

Catherine said...

Dear Angela, It sounds like you are motivating yourself to get well. Remember to take small steps. Each day one more success.
Your poetry is important and a healthy way to express yourself.
I am happy that your flower boxes are blooming with flowers that is always cheerful to see.
Blessings dear. Catherine xo