Artwork~ Jennifer Lanne Original
The Brillance of Butterflies.
The cat next door is crying to be let in, and it is so hot outside. I feel bad about the cat...helpless.
It is the warmth that somehow makes me feel safe, as if in a cocoon, so I sit on the back porch today for bits at a time.
I called my friend Jenny, because I miss her. I was reading her blog, Jenny Sawle, and looking at the amazing art that she is making at art camp. Most of it is on clothing, and she is such a gift to me.
I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, and sometimes I think my words are meaningless, falling on deaf ears. I question whether they are any good. Mostly I do write them for me, and that is what I need to remember.
My therapist thinks I need some twice a week sessions, making me know how much I'm slipping into coping mechanisms. My eating has been sporadic, which I blame on the heat and being off my schedule. I missed some medication, and of course the depression is always lurking, waiting for an opportunity to make an appearance. I was sleeping too much, and not even motivated to do yoga, but I've forced myself this week to get up and get going, so I'm feeling better. I worry. My dreams have been disturbing, lingering into the day. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself because I'm just me...nothing more or less because of my struggles.
My parents will be here soon, bringing my 3rd son home. I have so much to do to get ready this week. It always feels good once the house is back in order, so their visit is what I need to motivate me. My mother-in-law planted flowers in my window boxes and pots while I was out of town. I love that I have flowers again, as the past couple of years they have sat empty.
That is all for today. A friend asked me if I was still blogging besides the poetry, so I thought I would catch you all up :-)