"I must learn to love the fool in me -- the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."~Theodore Rubin
Self love is coming so much easier these days. There are times when I throw my heart out to the wolves, it is torn to shreds, and I do feel like a fool...for a short while, and then I say, "Fuck them!" "I'm awesome!" My self worth comes from deep within me, and I won't allow anyone to take that away anymore. I also refuse to beat myself up, close myself off, or change anything about who I am. How people treat me, good or bad, says everything about them, and nothing about me.
This summer has been fabulous in so many ways.
- I enjoyed working summer school with adorable new kiddos and an amazing staff who were very welcoming.
- My inspirational friend Jackie Heyen came to stay with me, and also brought her two Chihuahua's and her cat. You can read about her here~BlueRoad
- I was able to spend time with both of my parents who came into town at separate times. There were some emotional moments, but that is always how healing happens.
- I had some fun pool time with friends, and also bittersweet goodbye pool time with my friend, Carroll, who just sold her house. (The summer after I came home from eating disorder treatment, she was the person who encouraged me to put on a bathing suit. The comfort and acceptance she has of her own body was exactly what I needed to see.)
- Yoga almost every damn day! I usually took one rest day per week, as difficult as that is for me. I've taken some workshops, done yoga in the park, and in a winery, hung out with my yoga posse, and practiced my ass off! Yesterday, my oldest son said, "Geez, mom, look at your arm muscles!" Strong is a good thing!
- I got rid of all of my "sick" clothes, because I'm never going to be a size 0 again, and letting go of wanting to be a size 0 is even better!
- I still have two more weeks to cram in more good times. :-)