Consumed

I'm consumed by thoughts

of what I'm eating,

or not eating.

Is this smaller?...

Is that bigger?...

Looser...Tighter...

I suppose that is the nature of the disorder.

I use it to distract my mind from more painful

thoughts. It makes me numb and oblivious

to all other feelings. Unfortunately, it also

numbs the good feelings. I just feel dead inside.

I have a husband who is in love with me, and four sons

that I adore. I'm blessed with a beautiful family, and yet

I push everything away to let the sickness take over.