Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Looking For Strength Today

I'm not really sure why, but I feel very cranky and out of sorts today. It could have something to do with the fact that I was gouged by my husbands long toenails first thing this morning. It is not exactly the way I like to begin my day.(sorry honey...just being honest) I also feel very uncomfortable with my body, and one of my first thoughts besides OUCH!, was...I'm not eating today. I think what is hard for me is that I don't have many clothes to wear right now at this current weight, and I hate it. I really love clothes, and fashion. I used to look forward to getting dressed and putting an outfit together, but right now, I just dread it. I know that it sounds really superficial, but it does make me sad. Yesterday I felt so motivated to be healthy, and do everything the right way, but today, all that I feel is impatient. I'm not sure that I have the patience to lose this weight the correct way. I know that if I just severely restricted my food, it would go quickly, and I would be done with it. At least that is my current thinking at the moment. I suppose that I will be arguing with Claudia today, and I guess that is to be expected.
I know that I will have to fight harder, and be louder than usual today if I am to win.


Sassy Mama Bear said...

One day at a time love....everything takes time.
Sending HUGS!

Angel said...

Thank you:) I'm trying to stay positive.

Anonymous said...

It must be tiring having such mood changes day to day, and that you are not able to hold on to your "I can do it" attitude for more than 24 hours. I sympathize and I wish there was a magic wand that could be tapped on your shoulder to help you retain the positive energy you need each day to not get so discouraged with how you look. Maybe you dressing up and picking out your outfits was a way for you to disguise the real you. You don't need to wear the latest fashion to be noticed or to be beautiful. Yesterday you said "it does feel good to do the right thing." Maybe you can focus on the inside rather than so much on the outside. At the end of the day, no one cares what you look like or what clothes you wore. At our age, that is all very silly. They only care about the connection they made with you and that can be accomplished with whatever you are wearing.

Jennifer said...

Sending some support your way!

S.L. Corsua said...

Regarding the clothes, I feel for you, dear. I'm in the same predicament right now. The past months, dealing with too much work (coming like a landslide on my lap) has made me gain weight, and I'm struggling. I'm sending you much moral support, from halfway across the world. Remember: this, too, shall pass. ;)

I just thought I'd give you a heads up, that there is an error (a double "http") in the link to my site. Know that your visits are treasured. Cheers.

Angel said...

Sorry about that! I fixed your link:)