Sunday, August 16, 2009

They Have Touched My Heart


I'm so tired, but I wanted to share how my first day of school with my classroom of boys was, and I'm happy to report that it was wonderful. They have already touched my heart. I get so emotional for some reason when I work with these kids, and I can already tell that I'm going to be able to connect with this group of boys. The staff is also great, and I feel like we are going to be a really positive team. Three of the boys are non-verbal, but the other one is highly verbal. He already asked if anyone else in the classroom talked! Poor guy. He is fairly social, and has mainly been placed in this classroom because of his aggressive behavior, which we haven't observed so far. There always seems to be a honeymoon period at the beginning of the school year though.

This weekend went so quickly, and I'm already getting ready for the beginning of the week. 5:00 a.m. comes early! Last week I got up every day to walk with my neighbor, and I feel like that is an important thing for me to do for my body. I'm trying, but this first week of school was stressful, and I found myself restricting my food intake quite a bit. What's new? That is mostly the norm for me anymore, and I'm finding it hard to get back on track. I am doing better with the purging though. I noticed that I have been having horrible acid reflux because of the purging, and it has been very uncomfortable, so the natural consequences of that has been to purge less often.

Money is really tight right now, so I'm not going to be able to see my therapist or nutritionist for the rest of this month. That will be strange, but maybe I'm ready to cut back on sessions? I don't have a choice, so we will see. I cried when my husband told me that we couldn't afford the sessions, and I'm not sure why. Money issues scare me, and I hate talking about it. I like to bury my head in the sand, and I'm horrible when it comes to finances. I let Dave handle all of that, which I know is only going to bite me in the ass somewhere down the road. My next goal is to have him tutor me on all that I need to know. Well, for being so tired, I sure did write a lot! For now, I'm going to call it a night. Wishing everyone a fabulous week!


KAT said...

I am happy that your first day was wonderful!! I'm sure the boys and you will get along just fine!!

I am sorry to hear that you can't go to your sessions because of money, but think positively, maybe the boys will be good therapy for you and you really can cut back on the sessions. Money problems are always scary, but they can overpower you quickly if you don't try to find a positive spin on things.

Take care,

Shinade aka Jackie said...

I too am so happy that you are enjoying your time back.

I also love the imagery you chose for this post. I find it very hopeful and loving.

Just take it one day at a time and try not to project into the future.

I believe that all things move in the universe as they are intended to move.

Though we may not always be able to see why a certain thing happens or is changing. Somewhere there is a reason and one in the end we will benefit from.

Now it may be years before we ever get an answer to the whys and whats, but, in my life time as I look back I have found answers.

The physical exercise and being busy is going to be very good for you and your self esteem.

As for the money, don't start worrying about that right now. Try to stay focused just on you, your job, and getting through these first few weeks and months.

Everything else will work itself out in it's own time!!

Love and hugs,

PJ said...

it is great to hear that your first week was good! i feel very positive vibes coming from you in these last few posts and that is an awesome thing! day by day, minute by minute, you are awesome!

The Struggling Author/Graphic Artist said...

I am sorry that money is tight, I know how that is. I am currently in the same position financially not able to see the doctors I should. Sorry, good luck!

Ann said...

So glad your first day went well.

I can relate to the money issue thing. I'm good at bugeting but I hate taking care of it all because it stresses me out way too much.

stigma no more said...

Hi Angela,
I am so happy that these boys have you in their lives. You have a heart of gold and you both are lucky to have each other. I use to work with this man Nathaniel who is autistic and I just loved him. He was verbal and was able to always express his thankfullness for having me and others in his life. I lost my joy there because a few people I was caring for died. They could not give me hours because like everyone they had to cut back. I will go and visit him sometimes and check on him.
Hope you feel better with the acid reflux,
Take Care,
Janet :)

Unknownwriter and Almost Lover said...

money maybe tight.. and it stresses anyone in that situation..but you get energy from the boys..which is a good thing ..many times life balances in ways we don't expect

clean and crazy said...

couple of suggestions, 1. Suze Orman, tune her in and listen this gal has got it going on when it comes to money. she is empowered and wants to empower the rest of us women who do not like to be responsible with finances. i am with you girl, i know it is hard but we deserve to feel good about ourselves and this is just one aspect of low self esteem that we have built up inside. 2. are there any 12 step meetings where you live, hopefully the OA which you do not have, but there are meetings for eating disorders that are free. even a 12 step aa or na would help if you can't make sessions, make your recovery top priority and build a support group. you deserve that too. i am so glad you are enjoying your work, we should all be as blessed as you.

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