Stronger Everyday

I had a really horrible night last evening with flashbacks and racing thoughts, and I have no idea what brought it all on. I went to yoga last night, came home, put on my p.j.'s, and settled in with my husband for some snuggles on the couch. Everything was fine, I dozed off, and then when I woke up, everything just felt wrong. I was disoriented, and when I tried to go back to sleep, I started having flashbacks. I did some breathing exercises, and that helped to get rid of the flashbacks, but I then moved into the racing thoughts about work, and every other worry that my mind could grab a hold of. I took my sleeping meds around 12:30, but today I'm so exhausted that I can barely think straight. Off and on I feel like crying, and I have therapy this evening. I have a feeling it is going to be a rough session because I'm so emotional today. Sometimes those are the best sessions though, because my therapist can help me to sort through everything that is going on in my head. I talked in my last post about crying after my yoga classes, and it is like a wave of sadness washes over me out of nowhere. I'm struck by how much it hurts, and yet I'm also surprised by the fact that I can withstand it. I always thought that maybe I couldn't handle it, but the realization that I actually can, and nothing bad is going to happen makes me feel a little bit stronger everyday.