Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Stronger Everyday

strong woman Pictures, Images and Photos I had a really horrible night last evening with flashbacks and racing thoughts, and I have no idea what brought it all on. I went to yoga last night, came home, put on my p.j.'s, and settled in with my husband for some snuggles on the couch. Everything was fine, I dozed off, and then when I woke up, everything just felt wrong. I was disoriented, and when I tried to go back to sleep, I started having flashbacks. I did some breathing exercises, and that helped to get rid of the flashbacks, but I then moved into the racing thoughts about work, and every other worry that my mind could grab a hold of. I took my sleeping meds around 12:30, but today I'm so exhausted that I can barely think straight. Off and on I feel like crying, and I have therapy this evening. I have a feeling it is going to be a rough session because I'm so emotional today. Sometimes those are the best sessions though, because my therapist can help me to sort through everything that is going on in my head. I talked in my last post about crying after my yoga classes, and it is like a wave of sadness washes over me out of nowhere. I'm struck by how much it hurts, and yet I'm also surprised by the fact that I can withstand it. I always thought that maybe I couldn't handle it, but the realization that I actually can, and nothing bad is going to happen makes me feel a little bit stronger everyday.


Wanda's Wings said...

I am glad you are feeling stronger everyday. Memories can be really rough. I really think the yoga was a good choice. Take care.

Sia Jane said...

You've come such a long way this past month Angela and you should feel very proud of that.
I am sorry the struggles can be so overwhelming and the fact you know you can cope is wonderful.
Hugs xxx

Ann said...

sorry you had such a rough night and day. You're handling things pretty good though, hang in there and have a better day tomorrow

I Hate to Weight said...

so sorry about your night. and i'm sorry you're exhausted and feeling crappy today

i take trazedone for sleep. if i take it and sleep poorly, i am miserable the whole next day. and throw in horrific nightmares...awful.

may your day pass quickly, and i hope you get some peaceful sleep tonight.