Saturday, May 14, 2011

Shedding The Old Skin


I feel like I'm a snake, shedding its skin, and everything feels strange and new. It doesn't quite fit yet, and I'm attempting to settle into my new home. I've had some sad, down in my gut wrenching moments this week. I had therapy on Wednesday, and I went in there feeling out of sorts, unsure of what was causing me the pain that I had been feeling since Sunday. We talked through my week, and I realized that sometimes I feel cheated because my family is so far away. I missed being with my mom on Mother's Day, and really wished she had come for a quick visit. There is an empty space that sometimes needs to be filled by being around the people who have known you all of your life...Who still love in you in spite of your faults, and understand how you have come to be the person that you are. I have my husband and my boys, but because my mom and I shared a closeness, and literally grew up together in many ways, that bond is impossible to replace with anything or anyone else. Once I could pinpoint the reason for my sense of loss, I could slowly release the burden that had been weighing on my heart.
This work week has also been hectic. I've been observing and taking data on some elementary kiddos who are having behavioral issues, on top of working with my regular autism students. I'm overwhelmed with things that I have to do this weekend. I have an end of the year test on nine of the autism modules we have studied this year, I need to write my son a graduation letter, and I also need to write a letter of recommendation for a co-worker. I have a wedding and reception to attend today, so that cuts into my study time. I'm also not a good test taker because I get so anxious, so all of this is weighing on my mind. All that I ask is to get through the last week of this school year in one piece. I will be relieved when I get everything done! I'm going to go and get ready for that wedding now, but I'm wishing all of you a wonderful weekend:)


Just me said...

Saying a prayer for you that you'll get through all of this without too much stress! Hugs! x x

Eve said...

I just prayed that you would be present in your life today. That u would be able to enjoy the wedding and your letter, and even your studying. You are doing a fantastic job Angela! I love the way you said you were shedding your skin but not quite grow into it yet. You will, baby step by baby step.

Sairs said...

It's good you have that closeness with your mum. I have it with mine, but not to the same degree as it sounds like you have. I'm glad too that you able to pin point the reason you were feeling off during the week, that's half the battle!

Wanda's Wings said...

Sounds like you are really in touch with yourself and what is going on. You are a winner.