Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Stealing Life

As the date moves closer for the launch of the Eat Breathe Thrive series, I'm more aware than ever of being a positive role model for the eating disorder community, but I will tell you that the yoga community is filled with disordered eating and obsessions with health and fitness. I listen to it every day, and it brings back memories of starving and obsessing over every bite. It breaks my heart. I need to figure out how not to be buried by the sadness. When people start talking about their diets and cleanses, my mind shuts down, mainly to protect myself. I can never go on a cleanse, or restrict in any way because for me that will be a descent back into a hell I never want to return to. I posted about my frustrations on facebook, which maybe wasn't the wisest decision, because it upsets people, but then again, I think that eating disorders are often about secrets, silence, and shame. 

My voice is important...
These conversations are important...

Just because I'm leading a series to help people overcome food and body image issues doesn't mean that I'm 100% confidant with my body. There are still many days of struggle and learning to accept the body that I have now, but I know that I don't ever want to go back to the darkness of anorexia. I have some things to figure out, because I'm not perfect, and not everyone is going to like what I have to say. That is a tough one for me, because unfortunately, I do care about what people think. I let it take up way too much space and importance in my life, and that is something I will be working on. 
I am grateful to be here working on it though, 
because I almost allowed an eating disorder to steal my life. 
Eating disorders steal lives. 
Don't let it steal yours.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Your Name

Your Name

You were lost in my ice storm
Gleaming daggers
dangling from frozen branches
Your name
like the wind
 whispered in my mind
My futile voice called out
the suspension of breath hovering in mid air
hidden within the sound of groaning trees
Silently my heart loved you
 the words 

Angela Minard 2015©

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Thrive Tribe Kansas

I'm not sure when the idea of wanting to become a yoga teacher began to take shape in my mind, but it was within the first six months of having a consistent yoga practice. I had been weight restored and physically recovered from anorexia for two years, but I was still struggling mentally, and still used restriction at times as a way to manage my emotions. I cried through many practices, and the release made room little by little for more acceptance and more forgiveness. I began to appreciate what my body, which had been weak and broken, could accomplish. I toyed with restriction and pushing my body through multiple classes a day, but those were not the practices that filled me with joy. I found that fueling my body also fed my passion for yoga, and I needed to share that passion with others. The transformation that needed to take place happened on the inside, and had nothing to do with my shape, weight, or size. 
I found out about the work that Chelsea Roff was doing with yoga and eating disorders, and how yoga had helped her to heal, and I knew I wanted to be a part of what she was doing. I went to Denver for her training and was even further inspired by her story and beautiful spirit. I couldn't wait to facilitate her program here in Kansas City, and now here it is! The program is a six week series called Eat Breathe Thrive, which integrates yoga, group processing, and community-building exercises, to help individuals overcome food and body image challenges. My dear friend and fellow yoga teacher, Amy Radar, will be co-facilitating. She too struggled with disordered eating and over exercise for many years before discovering the healing powers of yoga. We will be offering this series on Sundays from 4-6 p.m. at Darling Yoga, beginning March 8th-April 19th. You can register at Thrive Tribe Kansas. Spaces are limited, so sign up soon! 

Be your own kind of magic! 

You deserve to heal...
Let go of body shaming, food wars, self loathing,
and come home to you.