Here and Now

I'm getting over a particularly nasty bout of the stomach flu, so perhaps that is what has me feeling out of sorts. I like for things to make sense...I mean, who doesn't, right? I woke up yesterday feeling lost, which made no logical sense in my mind. I have been heading in a purposeful direction for quite some time, but suddenly I'm grasping. I'm either on the verge of tears or maniacal laughter at any given moment, and I'm exhausted.  A strange interaction that I had on Facebook seems to have triggered something inside of me, which I'm trying to figure out. A woman that I'm "friends" with posted something about how she thought it was a great idea to do drug testing on anyone who is applying for welfare assistance, like applying for welfare isn't humiliating enough!? She asked how others felt about it, and I happen to disagree. I rarely get into discussions like this on Facebook, but feeling strongly,  I made a few comments, in a very cal...

They say that the most stunning flower of all, the lotus, grows in the filthiest part of the pond, feeding on its filth to produce its beauty. My therapist also likes to say that strength comes from falling face down, sucking mud, and still being able to rise up and move forward.   I try to remember this when the pain and shame cause me to feel dirty and flawed. I work through it every day, and some days are easier than others, but I am healing and creating beauty through the practice of yoga. There are still days when I put on my yoga clothes, which are not forgiving, by the way, and I look into the mirror, and I don't love what I see. Some days I even think about staying home and hiding instead of walking into a class full of people, where I'm exposed. Recovery is like that. I'm not this women who recovered perfectly from anorexia, and never looks back. I would like to be, but then again, each time I look back, I learn something new about why I sometimes fall in...

Destination Unknown warm sun behind your eyes pale golden light slow and drowsy  thoughts like honey flow sweet and smooth unaware of breath of body like a seabird gliding over sparkling waves  through a cloudless sky destination unknown Angela Minard 2015© "Don't believe what your eyes are telling you.  All they show is limitation.  Look with your understanding.  Find out what you already know, and you will see the way to fly." ~ Richard Bach "Jonathan Livingston Seagull"

Scene of the Crime I am bleeding dank, putrid carnage the rich color of soil that I have nurtured I imagined returning to this place erasing my fingerprints setting the building on fire witnessing the devastation  from afar as if I was the criminal There are signs everywhere and this journey is no different The highway sign an unexpected reminder Throbbing warmth  pooling suddenly I shove both hands between my thighs trying to tell you Pull over to the side of the road but instead,  voice lost I hold my breath waiting for the pain to recede I can smell them... rotten, burning flesh the stench of shame Touching thumb to pinkie finger ring finger middle finger pointer... I am here I am here I am here I am not the criminal I look into your eyes not asking you to turn away no longer a child r...