Just The Blahs
I refuse to even say the word depressed to myself. I just have the blahs right now. I know why, and I know too, that they will leave if I can only give myself permission to have the feelings instead of trying to talk myself out of them. I had a severe panic attack over the weekend that left me feeling out of control, and I wish that I could have handled things more on my own, without having to need so much help to find my way back. I hate that so often, my automatic reaction to fear is to dissociate. It is frustrating, and I know that I'm being too hard on myself. I just wanted to be able to handle everything while Dave was out of town, and I wasn't quite able to, but it is okay. I'm still doing better, and I hadn't had a dissociative episode in quite awhile. I'm very lucky that I have a great therapist, and wonderful friends to help me, and they were able to pull me out of the darkness. What I hate more than anything is the loss of time and memories. I remember go...