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Showing posts from December, 2016

Stop, Drop, and Roll

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I didn't realize how long it has been since I have been here to write Change often seems to create a sense of suspended animation where the outer world stays the same  and yet you and everything you do is completely different  Sometimes I feel as if I'm observing from the outside... I wanted to heal and I think I am healing... I hope... I remember a winter about nine years ago when I barely came out of my bedroom It was dark on the inside  and I was too numb to cry too numb to smile  too numb to realize that I was dying Years of lying of hiding being raped  swallowing rage  had eventually caught up and taken a toll Self harm starving and hating myself had left me empty My husband asked me to see a therapist and I did not want to  but there was a small voice inside that I could still hear through the endless chatter I remember looking through the Blue Cross/Blue Shield book of mental health providers  and searching for...