Here and Now

I'm consistently filled with worries that play on a loop going around in circles in my mind. Sometimes I get stuck on one, and it repeats over and over, becoming larger and larger, until I have blown it way out of proportion. I found out yesterday at work that I have to take a pre-assessment test over all of the topics we have covered this year in our classes. I'm not good at tests, and we have covered a lot of information this year. It does me no good to worry, and yet I do. Last night I did some of the visualizations that I learned in therapy, and I actually fell asleep while doing it. I was proud of myself for applying what I had learned. It helps if I can slow my thoughts down,but of course the worry is back today. I will study, and do the best that I can with the test. That is all that I can do. There...feeling better all ready. I have to remember that I have control over all of the thoughts, good and bad. I can choose a more positive path. Here are some good thoughts for ...

Sometimes I get so tired of the voices in my head. That sounds crazy doesn't it? The voices...but they do drive me crazy. The eating disorder, the negative self talk, the reframing of the negative self talk...it just goes on and on! I've been learning to meditate, and when that works, it helps a great deal. Yesterday I needed so much to get out of my own head, so I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes. I try to visualize a safe, beautiful place in my mind where I can go, and for the first time in days, the chatter stopped, and I could simply be. It was nice, so I need to try to do more of those types of exercises. We did a lot of visualization exercises when I was in treatment for my eating disorder, and it really does work if you can let go, which is easier said than done. I really need to find a yoga class. I was going to try the kick boxing, but I think yoga would help me to feel more connected to my body. I feel so uncomfortable with my body though, that even going to ...