Here and Now

    Words My throat...   how it aches front to back   words would be too much to speak but never enough   and your hand over my mouth is only physical placement   meaning nothing when it comes down to prayers and bloody knees Angela Minard 2013©

How We Leave We hide in quiet spaces to dream  the pulse of madness throbbing each labored breath a reminder be still be still be still   Disappearing within the chanting rhythm  of silence Angela Minard 2013©

Breach Of Contract Everyday there are promises to keep We make them to ourselves silently swearing we will be better... try harder... Spoken aloud, they become chains We hold on until September October... November... the shadows following along daylight companions Tethered by verbal contracts vowing to stay We hold on until December January... February... becoming numb to the harsh winter wind We are nothing  more than fragile hearts and frozen smiles weeping with dry eyes, screaming into the emptiness We hold on until March It hurts to breathe as we move through each moment with heavy limbs on a slow                motion                            descent to nowhere We held on until April leaving handwritte...

I'm in an overwhelming space of clarity, if that is even possible. Can you be overwhelmed with clarity? When you allow yourself to be wide open, without judgment of yourself or others, it is amazing all that you can see. My youngest son is in the confusing place of being a 16 year old in 2013. I struggle with how to help him, because I truly do not know what it is like for him. How do any of us survive our teenage years? I have the luxury of stepping back, and I can offer suggestions, but that is all I can do. We have to make our own mistakes, and that is always how we learn and grow. It is painful to watch someone you love be lost in confusion.   I've been thinking so much about my future, and where yoga is taking me. I took a workshop yesterday on using yoga in the classroom, which was very inspiring. I already use some yoga and breathing techniques with my students, but I'm excited to incorporate it even more into the classroom environment. I'm determined...

"I must learn to love the fool in me -- the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."~Theodore Rubin   Self love is coming so much easier these days. There are times when I throw my heart out to the wolves, it is torn to shreds, and I do feel like a fool...for a short while, and then I say, "Fuck them!" "I'm awesome!" My self worth comes from deep within me, and I won't allow anyone to take that away anymore. I also refuse to beat myself up, close myself off, or change anything about who I am. How people treat me, good or bad, says everything about them, and nothing about me.   Moving on...   ...

  This is my theme song! Whenever I'm feeling like life is getting the better of me, I listen to this, and it inspires me not to allow anyone to ever take my power or my voice again.   "Now I'm a warrior Now I've got thicker skin I'm a warrior I'm stronger than I've ever been And my armor, is made of steel, you can't get in I'm a warrior And you can never hurt me again."

Drought The rain holds on tight to the sky as the clouds darken the room with shadows shattering the daylight Beyond the back door the creek beds wait cracked and empty Only the faded violet thistle still grow along the path Outside of the windows the gray promises taunting... Time whispers a slow exhale as the pale sun spills upon the dry earth Another day, it will come an endless downpour music on the roof Another day, it will come Angela Minard 2013©