Here and Now

  Dreaming in watercolor stained glass images crystal clear mirage  the aspects of human nature bleed my heart  seeping into the fluidity of my soul blurring the lines of what it is to be authentic  are you a lie posing as a teacher? ask yourself, not your ego are you compassion and grace? are you the mirror of truth or falsifying your name? Can you see beyond the shining colors to the depths of human suffering? Can you offer a warm hand  or a cold heart? What will you choose? Angela Minard 2021© Watercolor Lotus Flower by Libby May

  Truth is your name, not the letters behind them, nor your diagnoses, those labels of wife, mother, sister, friend... Breathe in your grace and exhale the stories that hold you back Once I knew a quiet and watchful child who held fears hand befriending a belly that fluttered her sweet racing heart a constant companion Insecurity weaved it’s way into every fiber of her tender being;  a sturdy fabric for such a delicate soul to wear This is your time to undress without shame to shrug the heaviness of that old and tattered garment off your weary shoulders Drape yourself in the finest silks and gossamer threads Inhale the heady fragrance of peace as you release the hand of fears icy grip This is your time... Angela Minard 2021© Photography by~ Kristina Makeeva

  Artwork by~ Masaaki Sasomoto At the height of my eating disorder, when I was entrenched in anorexic behaviors, I also held a full time job working with children with autism and other developmental disabilities. The only time it affected my work was when I took a leave of absence to go into treatment. I have missed work at times for mental health days, and I think that almost everyone at some time in their work history has done that. I would rather take a day for self care than to be sub par at my work. For many people struggling with mental health, routines are a huge part of maintaining normalcy and stability. These days of having extra time on my hands not teaching at the studio have thrown off my routine. I miss the structure, but have found myself feeling more creative, and exploring new ideas. I don’t often embrace change, but it may be time to take more chances, and move out of my comfort zone a bit. I’ve been working on publishing a few volumes of poetry, as well as a memo...

  Weaving the threads of time into a tapestry  the yellow Canary symbolizes the power to control the voice, feelings, and emotions... Strum the harp strings of your heart carrying the echo of your song to the stars and beyond Your infinite vibration rings strong and true... Angela Minard 2021© 

I wrote a post here about the recent presidential election. I composed it before we knew the outcome, and was so anxious, which is often when I write. I never published it. I knew things were going to be bad, but never dreamed the insurrection on January 6th would be one of the outcomes of 45’s hellish 4 years in office. I actually think the day he was sworn in is when my anxiety started to spiral. I started to feel increasingly unsafe, and I’m guessing that many trauma survivors would agree. Hell, not only trauma survivors, but minorities in general.  Last year at the beginning of the pandemic, the anxiety that I’ve always struggled with ramped up to disproportionately high levels. I had a horrible panic attack and dissociative episode that landed me in the hospital. I had been off of all psychiatric medications for at least 7 years, but made the choice to resume an antidepressant. It did help the depression, but my anxiety was still fairly high, so with my treatment team, we star...

  Even when you close your eyes the chatter doesn’t stop tap, tap, tapping on your shoulders incessant chanting in your ears... When escape is not possible build a nest, and nourish fresh thoughts while the words find a home to make sense and rest  Create a refuge; a collage of fine twigs, downy feathers, and delicate baby’s breath to line your heart with tender care finally serenaded to sleep by a birdsong lullaby Angela Minard 2021©  Artwork by Lucy Campbell

Each fold and sharp crease between thumbnail and stark white paper hisses with outrage refined angles cutting remarks behind a simpering smile shooting baskets with the misshapen wads aim and miss each paper crane is formed from everything she was told she lacked her many failures bent into the correct aesthetic shape forced to acquiesce  throbbing fingers crimp and tuck seething warmth rising with each crumpled mistake these messy pages tell her battled tale... -the lie of perfection Angela Minard©  Artwork by  Duy Huynh