Marking Time

 I haven’t thought about this blog in a long time, which is only obvious when I see that my last post was 4 years ago. There is a student at the yoga studio where I teach that moved abroad this summer, and she started a blog to write and share her experiences. She sent me the link to her Blogger this morning, and I was surprised to see that mine hadn’t been shut down. The internet really is forever!

There are things in my life that have remained a constant like my husband’s steadfast care and support. I still teach yoga full time between teaching in behavioral health and a local studio. Leading my own teacher’s trainings and workshops also keeps me in a continual loop of learning, which stokes my passion for mindfulness and movement. I still write poetry and journal. I suppose I will always express myself through writing, although the need to be public has lessened. 

I had a scary health incident two years ago when I was diagnosed with a condition called Reversible Cerebral Vasoconstriction Syndrome. It caused severe thunderclap headaches and a small aneurysm. I was on strict bed rest for a couple of months. Through genetic testing I found out I have Vascular Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. There really isn’t much in the way of treatment, although it explains my hyper mobility. I was on vasodilator meds for a while, but they lowered my blood pressure so much that I was constantly fatigued. I was happy to come off of them and get on with my life. 

Family life is never dull! Our oldest son and his partner moved in with us after they lost their home to a fire in early spring. Our house is once again bursting with children, and our newest granddaughter was born 2 weeks after they moved in with us. Nothing is permanent, so I’m trying to embrace both the laughter, the tears, and utter chaos of it all!

Much of my writing here in the past focused on my recovery from sexual trauma, anorexia, and my adventures in therapy. I still see the same therapist on an every other week schedule. My dependence on her has changed so much since those early years. She announced that she will be retiring in 2 years, and that will definitely need its own pages of writing for me to process through all of those feelings. I’m ready for all of it though, and am better equipped to handle everything that life throws my way. I titled this blog “Here and Now” because it was a phrase my therapist often said to me in sessions. I struggled with staying in the present and often perseverated on the past and worried about the future. I’ve come a long way in that department, but it’s still a needed reminder. 

Maybe I will come back here from time to time. 

Time…there is never enough.