Collusion

I soak the bed almost every night,
waking up shivering in my damp,
sweat covered pajamas.
They chase me,
and my limbs are heavy and slow,
my screams bear down like weights in my chest.
I choke on my food,
barely able to swallow,
and the fear keeps me from eating.

I see my trauma therapist next week.
I'm struggling with memories...things they said to me.
Those voices ring in my ears,
and I long for the silence.
As I drift into fit full sleep,
I hear them whispering.
Men collude with each other.
Their faces grotesque,
floating above me, sneering in victory.
I will not let them win.