I Am Self-Confident

Today is the first day of my winter break, and I was most certainly ready for it this year. Work has been stressful. I've realized that I really don't like change, and I have had to work at a lot of different schools in the past few weeks. It is like starting a new job all over again, and it is hard to feel comfortable at first. I guess I will have to get used to it though, as it is just part of the job. I have been spoiled the past few years because I have been with the same student, in the same school, and I am attached to both her, and the staff there, but she will most likely graduate this year, and also hasn't been attending regularly. I think that maybe she is finished with school, and is just ready to move on, although I think the socialization and time spent with her peers is still very important. Anyway...enough work talk! I'm on vacation! Woo hoo!!!

I'm going to go and get my hair cut today, and then do a little Christmas shopping. I'm hoping that the hair cut will help me feel cute:) I've been trying to work on giving myself positive messages. The one at the top of my list right now is, "I am self-confident." I think that more than anything, I would like to have that feeling of self-worth and self-confidence in my life.
I have also been working very hard on sticking to my meal plan the past two weeks. I had a bad slip over the Thanksgiving holiday, but now I'm back on track, and proud to say that I haven't restricted in two weeks. I think that this is a very significant improvement considering the letter that I had from my dad, which was upsetting. I didn't use restriction to cope with those feelings, so I feel great about that. I really haven't dealt with those feelings, and I haven't written him back yet, but I don't feel ready to do that at this point. When I told my therapist that same thing this week, she was so excited. She said, "That is a wonderful way for you to take care of yourself, and your needs." She is right. I am taking much better care of myself and all of my needs, and that includes feeding myself. I will get to writing that very painful letter to my dad when I feel that I am strong enough to emotionally handle it. In the mean time, "I am self-confident!"

P. S. Emery the rat is home with me for Christmas break, and even has a couple of presents under the tree from the students. She is greatly loved!

Free Time

I'm awake early this morning, so I thought that I would get a little blogging in before I start the day. I don't have much planned besides some cleaning and baking. I'm going over to my mother-in-laws to bake pies this morning. Tomorrow we will be going over to my brother and sister-in-laws house for Thanksgiving, and all that I'm in charge of is the bread, so I don't really have that much to do.

I'm definitely going to enjoy the rest of this week off from work. Emery the rat is here for a holiday visit, and she is as cute as ever! I'm not sure what all I'm going to be doing with my time off, but I would like to write some poetry, and work on my knitting. I just finished a fun and festive red scarf. I've never knitted a hat, so that is what I'm going to try next. My son Roman wants a hat to match the scarf that I knitted for him last year. Well, that is all I have to write for now, but I'm sure that I will be back later. Wishing everyone a wonderful day!

Nature's Cure

Wild St. John's Wort

I'm feeling so much better than I was earlier in the week. My stomach problems have improved, and the results of my colonoscopy came back normal, so that was terrific news. I think that my depression has worsened some since I stopped taking the Lexapro, but I'm not willing to put up with the weight gain side effect, so I decided to go with the natural alternative for depression, which is St. John's Wort. My doctors were actually fine with this, as they understand that the weight gain has also been contributing to my depression. It doesn't react with any of the other medications that I'm taking, so they didn't see a problem with me trying it.

I enjoyed watching the vice-presidential debate last night. By golly and gosh darn it, that Sarah Palin just annoys me to no end! She could never even manage a straight forward answer to any of the questions that were presented. Folksy, my ass! More like phony baloney, I say. She did better than I thought that she would, but I still didn't buy what she was peddling. I'm looking forward to seeing where the remainder of this election leads our country. It has definitely been interesting.

I'm so glad that it is finally Friday! I have been working with a very aggressive student all week, which has made work more stressful than it usually is, so I'm really ready to enjoy the weekend at home with my family. I did take some cute pictures of Emery the class rat though, so that is what I will leave you all with:)


Emery with popcorn




Emery with a pretzel stick

An "Emery The Rat" Update

Emery loves her Honey Nut Cheerios first thing in the morning.

It is going to be hard to take her back to the classroom. We have really grown attached to her this summer. She is such a cutie! She is very social, and greets anyone who will stop by to chat.

She is a great listener. Of course, she is always hoping that the visitor also has a treat for her. She loves peanuts, cheese crackers, and anything with peanut butter, which sometimes gets stuck to the roof of her mouth, and is quite humorous to watch her remove. I never thought that I could love a rat, but I do!

The Dog And The Rat

The dog decided to go and sniff the cage of the rat. The rat decided to bite the nose of the dog. The dog is now afraid of the rat!


Sleeping Dog(Phoebe)

Sleeping Rat(Emery)

Cute Dog(Phoebe)

Cute Rat(Emery)